Pepper, mi mejor amiga / Pepper, my Best Friend

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where trouble melts like lemon drops

High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

 
*Va mezclado en inglés / español sin ningún orden... The text is randomly mixed in Spanish / English.

 How do you talk about someone who you loved so deeply, who knew you best of all, who you still do not know how you do without?

Pepper was my best friend in the entire world. She died this year, after being with me 13 years.

I adopted her, or rather, she chose me, after some fucking asshole poisoned my dog Nix. Smiling up at me and wagging her teeny tiny tail, she said "Hi! Remember me! Let's go home!"

We had so many good times they are hard to count. In my little apartment, when I lived alone, sitting on the steps with a six pack of Bavaria gold, watching the sky and listening to the pine trees (before they murdered them to make room for more cars), this dog would sit with me for hours, in perfect silence, saying everything that matters.

She waited to meet my daughter; now I know.

She would wait for me to pee. I was gone from 6:00 in the morning to 10:00 at night. I worked insane hours to pay rent and buy dog food. She NEVER peed inside. Before I adopted Velutha, she waited alone, in the empty apartment, for me to come home, take her out to pee, drink cheap wine and sleep curled up next to me.

EVERY single time I threw up, sick and later pregnant, Pepper sat next to me. EVERY time I cried, softly or desperately, in resignation or despair, heartbroken or literally bleeding, she sat next to me. Sharing it all, taking it into her little body and suffering with me.

Cómo se empieza a hablar de alguien a quién amé tanto, la que mejor me conoció, sin qui´n aún no sé cómo sobrevivo?
 
Pepper era mi mejor amiga en todo el mundo. Murió este año, después de estar conmigo 13 años.

La adopté, o mejor dicho, ella me escogió, colita y sonrisa centelleantes, luego de que algunx malparidx asesinx envenenara a mi perra Nix.

Pasamos tantos buenos ratos que es difícil enumerarlos. Cuando vivía sola, en mi apartamentito, me sentaba por horas con ella y un six-pack de Bavaria Gold, a escuchar a los pinos conversar (antes de que los asesinaran a ellxs también para hacer otro parqueo), en perfecto silencio, diciendo todo lo que importa.

Pepe NUNCA se orinó adentro de la casa. Me esperaba sin falta hasta que volviera. Al principio yo trabajaba como loca de 6:00 a 10:00 de la noche, para pagar el alquiler y la comida de perrx. Antes de que adoptara a Velutha, ella me esperaba solita, en ese apartamento vacío hasta que yo volvía, la sacaba a orinar, tomaba vino barato y nos acostábamos juntas.

Estoy convencida de que se esperó para conocer a mi hija.

CADA vez que vomitaba, enferma y luego embarazada, Pepe estaba sentada junto a mí. CADA vez que lloraba, en resignación o total desesperación, me acompañaba, en mis heridas, mis soledades, mis dolores, absorbiéndolo todo con su cuerpito, nunca dejándome sola.

Cuando tenía como un añito, adoptó a sus muñequitxs como bebés y le empezó a salir leche de las tetitas. Yo la ordeñaba todos los días para que no le doliera, en esa épocas de cero plata y no cultura de veterinarixs... Luego la llevé a castrar con mi propia plata. Y lloré amargamente cuando la tuve que dejar y hasta que me la devolvieron.

Por esos días también la mordió un bicho y se empezó a hinchar con una reacción alérgica. Como no había nadie en la casa, me la llevé alzada corriendo los 4 kilómetros hasta la vete más cercana y prometerle al veterinario que volvía más tarde a pagarle.

Pepe se jalaba su buena porción de tortas, y siempre que hacía algo malo, se cantaba tirándose al piso de panza con la mirada más culpable del mundo. Además, tenía hábitos particulares demasiado raros y adorables. Por ejemplo, cuando yo volvía a casa hacíamos el "salchisaludo" con ella de panza y haciéndome cariñito con las patitas. El mejor, era su afán de cerciorarse de oler el ombligo de toda persona que entraba a la casa! Era, por supuesto, para asegurarse de que no fuera un "clon." Una vez satisfecha de su humanidad, dicha persona podía pasar.

When she was around a year old, she adopted her little dolls as babies and started lactating. I had to "milk" her daily so that she wasn't in too much pain. Oh, those were the days of being absolutely broke and completely ignorant about veterinary care. Later on I took her to get neutered with my own money and cried desperately when I had to leave her there and until she was returned to me safely.

Around the same time a bug bit her and she began to swell up in a terrible allergic reaction. There was nobody home to help me so I gabbed her and carried her the 6 miles to the nearest vet, promising to pay him as soon as I got back home and found some money.

Pepper got into her fair share of dog trouble. Girl, did she! When she screwed up and ate something (which was most often the case) she would totally rat on herself by immediately going belly-up with the guiltiest of dog eyes ever. Pepe had some extremely weird--and endearing--habits. When I got home we had our own special hello, which I called "salchisaludo"... belly rubbing and paw caressing... I loved it. But the best of the best was her belly-button smelling. Everybody that walked through the door had to be properly dog-inspected to ascertain that said person was not a clone! Once satisfied, Pepper allowed the person to enter.

Pepper's favorite foods were: chocolate, ripe mango, coconut water (and then the coconut shell), Baileys ON ICE, and jocotes. I would traditionally eat them while reading and leave some flesh on the seed so she could chew on them for hours. Ask my mom how much she loved jocote season!!! You could find dissecated jocote seeds up to February.

I took her to the beach three times. The first to Manuel Antonio, the second to Santa Teresa y la última un paseo corto a Jacó y Esterillos. She LOVED the beach, the sand, running around free from one end to the beach to the other. She was very adventurous and loved to meet new people although she did not much like other dogs.

She "did her hair" by folding her pharaoh ears back when she was feeling silly or flirty.

She had countless human friends. Everyone that met her fell automatically in love with her. I was known as "pepper's mother" LOL.

Pepe AMABA el mango (una semilla la hacía feliz por horas), el chocolate, los jocotes, el agua de pipa (seguida de la cáscara del coco), y una traguito de Bailey's CON HIELO! Yo me comía los jocotes y luego ella masticaba las semillas. Se encontraban semillas de jocote hasta febrero.

No hubo nadie que la conociera que no se enamorara de ella. Era una persona tan especial.

Cuando su cuerpito ya no aguantó más y tuve que ayudarla a descansar tuvimos un momento solas. Me dijo tantas cosas. Una lágrima le llegó hasta el pecho y yo le prometí que iba a estar bien. Que su trabajo conmigo había terminado, que iba a sobrevivir. Se lo prometí y lo voy a cumplir. La amo más que a nada y todos los días, todos los minutos, todos los segundos, siento su ausencia. Espero el día que nos volvamos a reunir.

When her little body could not survive anymore and I had to help her rest, we had one moment alone because it was all pretty quick. She told me so many things. I saw one tear roll down to her chest. She couldn't stand anymore. So she was laying on the grass on her side in the sunlight. I promised her that I would be alright, that her job with me was done. I promised her and I will keep my promise. I still love her more than anything. I feel her loss every day, every minute, every second. I look forward to the day we meet again.

She watched my daughter thoughtfully. From a distance, she always took care of her.

Se le quedaba viendo a mi hija pensativamente, cuidándola a la distancia.

Vean las patitas... las canas. Ya estaba viejita. Descansó rodeada de suu amigos, de su familia. Una buena muerte, afortunada, llena de amor. Yo la abracé y se durmió con una sonrisa.

She was an old little lady. Look at her sweet paws and her gray hairs. She finally went surrounded by her friends and family, full of love, a good death. I held her and she fell asleep with a smile.

Con Moni.

Pepe y yo.

With her "hair" back.
Con "cola."

Con Indigo.

Con Leo.

The Keeper of all my secrets, my Best Friend, my Love. I will miss you Forever until I find you again, Pepper.